Fear of abandonment can keep us trapped in a life that just does not serve us well.
It keeps us stuck in unfulfilling and often toxic relationships. It can cause us to push our own needs aside in order to keep other people happy. It can prevent us implementing boundaries that are vital for our psychological, emotional and physical health. And It can cause us to believe that we need to be 'perfect' to be loved and accepted.
Breaking free from this pattern or 'schema' is not easy, as it is a pattern that has become wired into the very fabric of our brain and nervous system.
The amygdala - the brain's threat detector - becomes hyper-sensitive to other people's words, actions and also non-verbal signals. So much so that it can 'see' betrayal' even when perhaps it is not there.
It is ALWAYS scanning the people in our life for signs that they cannot be trusted and that they may be about to leave us.
If you resonate with any of the following statements, the chances are you have the abandonment schema
I tend to cling to people if I think they are pulling away from me.
I get really anxious if I don't know where my partner is or what they are doing
I tend to become quite obsessive in relationships
I am always looking for signs that my partner's feelings are changing
I get so anxious in relationships I tend to sabotage them early on or avoid them all together.
The adults in my childhood were unpredictable - nice one minute, then abusive, cold or distant the next.
I find it difficult to focus on my own life when I am in a relationship.
To find out more about the neuroscience of abandonment fear and how work directly with your brain to start addressing it click here to listen to an interview I did for AVAIYA - it is free to watch for the next 48 hours only! ( 11-13th March)
This information could potentially change your life.